no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
