Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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