Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
