I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
