so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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