i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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