I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
