so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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