did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize