sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize