garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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