so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
