youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
