I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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