i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
