Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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