apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
