So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
