you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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