his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
