He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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