Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
