HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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