I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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