They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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