Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
