I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
