just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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