Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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