New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
