whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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