I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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