there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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