Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
