Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize