it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
time to smoke my breakfast
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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