If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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