Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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