I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
