Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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