Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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