why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my sisters under your porch take her home
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
