What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
