how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
