i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
