I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize