In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
