You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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