we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
