When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
