Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
