So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
