You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
