I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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