Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
