just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
