she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
