it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
