my being single is dangerous.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
