Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pants are for mortals
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
